the new house (sorta!)

So mom and dad are in the process of buying the house we want. We will then buy it from them (I think that's how we are doing it!) We are hoping to go to settlement around Nov 16th! If everything goes well it means we will be living in Denton at the end of this school year... We can't wait!! At Becky's request. here are some pictures. LOTS of work to do!!!

view from the lane

back of the house


side of the house

gross swimming pool

Denton!

So after a long wait for a house to go on the market after it foreclosed, the house we wanted was listed and within 2 days we had looked at it and mom and dad put an offer in! we have been going back and forth with them and we finally decided on a price and it is now in the process of becoming ours! Tim and I are so excited that Ben will be able to grow up with plenty of room to play...we won't have to worry about dealing with living in a development like we do now... our dog can bark and no one will care.... it will be much better than living here! We will be giving up a lot of conviences that we have gotten used to, but they are not worth staying around for! we will just have to plan shopping trips differenty, and make sure we keep more things on hand since we will no longer be living a couple miles from a 24 hour grocery store. There is a ton of work to be done on the house though...but still worth it!

we are still working on our house. its getting very close to being ready to list...still have tons of stuff to move out. not quite sure how 2 people aquire so much crap. we plan on packn it all up and then sorting through/getting rid of when we move into the new place next summer.

I know i need to post more but have been so busy with getting this house ready to sell and trying to pack etc and take care of Ben. Ben is definitely getting cuter every day! I love him to death and even though things are tough at times I can't imagine not having him in our lives! we are so blessed. His hair is beginning to fall out so he's getting a funny little bald ring (not a patch a ring) and he's laughing and giggling at so many things now. I walked into the room yesterday and he was sitting there in his swing playing with his hands and jsut laughing and smiling away. I loved it! he's doing really well. he had his 2 mo appt and the dr said he was doing great...that most babies at 2 mo arent doing much but he's doing it all. he's sleeping through the night (usually down around 10 and not back up until 6 or 7...some days later.... and he's starting to try to roll to his belly. (he can already go belly to back) well break time is over so back to work on the house!
Shadow made him feel better after his 2mo shots!


Ben's first football game.. a mini coach Walz

Ben turned 2 months old today!
Today he also did his cutest thing yet! he giggled in his sleep...it's only been about a week that he's really been smiling and laughing so this was definitely precious!

I should update more often

I know I should update more often I just don't have the time/energy? but Im going to try!
Ben is getting so good at holding his head up! Pretty soon he will be rolling over. He's started smiling at us a little more, though I can't wait til he's bigger and is smiling all the time.. (right now his smiles sometimes could still be the "pooping" smile... We have switched his formula to Gentlease so now he's not upset all the time because his tummy hurts. He was sleeping really well for a while but the last few nights he has gotten into the habit of refusing to go to bed. (mommy and daddy dont like this!) we had his 1 month appt at 6 weeks. The dr said he was "growing good" and he was up to 10lbs even and almost 22 in long. our boy is growing!

We are still working on the house, with tons of help from Dad. he comes up once a week to work on it.. (though I think he and mom REALLY come up to see Ben!) We are still working on getting everything packed up etc...which is tough to do when you dont know where you are going to be living! Mom did say today that they are starting on getting things going on the house next door, so now its a wait until they list it to see if we can afford it. It would be really nice to have that house! We would be in the woods, have some room to play, and neighbors wouldnt care if our dog barked! We just keep praying because right now that's all we can do.

AND after 4 years of trying to get a teaching job, I finally got a call this week for a position. Go figure....It's ok though...I feel good knowing I was called. Maybe something will open up when I go back to work? right now I am enjoying being a stay at home mom...and honestly couldnt imagine going back to work right now! I dont know how the moms do it! (Mindy I admire you!) I am hardly making it with the sleep I am getting... I couldnt imagine going to work on top of it!

Tim and I managed to go to an Eric Church concert and Mom-Mom W. babysat. It was nice to get out even though I was a little worried since it was the longest we had left him! Apparently he went RIGHT to sleep in his crib for Mom-mom. Maybe i should have her over every night??

Well I guess this is all for now. Ill add some pictures of Ben and hopefully post more often! ok I will try to update with pictures later...it wont let me upload right now!

Motherhood-the BIG question....

The big question I keep getting as a new mother is "How does it feel to be a mom?" or a different verision..."does it feel different being a mom?"

It's been a while since I posted but we've been kinda busy! I am learning new things each day, and there are little things that are bringing me joy each day as well...despite the complete lack of sleep!

To answer the question is tough. I am not really sure of how to answer...yes it feels different--even thinking back to college days, I have NEVER been this tired before in my life. But at the same time its such a blessing to be this tired- the reason is such a blessing. It doesn't seem to have settled in yet that I AM a mom... I guess that will come when Ben starts talking and is calling me mom...

We have been doing ok... He's made it to getting up at about 2:30 and then 5:30--which I can handle. Some nights are perfect- he wakes, eats his bottle and goes back to sleep. Others not so much- he wakes, eats and then doesnt want to go back to sleep...
Currently we are doing formula with a little bit of breastmilk each day. I had hoped to breastfeed as long as possible, but I apparently get lactation headaches...so everytime I nurse I get a severe migraine. There were many days where I was getting to the point that I was not looking forward to feeding (which made me feel like a horrible mom) and other times where I would just cry the whole time. I struggled with what to do.... I hate that I am unable to do something that should be so natural, and that is so beneficial for Ben...but at the same time (after having tons of people reassure me..and I still feel guilty for stopping nursing) I know that a mommy with a nonstop migraine is NOT good for him either. SO we are on mostly formula. I pump but don't get that much (and still get a migraine) but he's getting a bit each day. I hope to make it to six weeks with him getting at least 2 bottles a day of breastmilk, but I am not sure if we will...we are at 5 weeks but I get less and less each time.. I still get the guilty feelings- esp when someone asks if we are breastfeeding and I have to say no. (and often times the response of "OH your not?" makes me feel even worse) but I simply explain the situation and I feel a tad bit better....

Ben is over a month old now and he's getting bigger each day.
I shower Ben each day with tons of kisses because I know that one day he will be too grown up or too "cool" to have his mommy kiss him.... there are so many times that the laundry is overflowing, or the house looks like a tornado goes through but I know that it can wait. and I spend time sitting there just holding him. He recently noticed his hands and will sit and just twist them around staring at them...its so cute! He also sits and stares at his mobile now... or in the car stares out the window. Our other favorite thing that he does is he talks ALL the time. even when he's got his pacifier he's making all kinds of cute little cooing noises. He has also figured out his neck muscles...he's been trying to hold his head up since we were in the hospital, but he's got good control of it now. We are totally in love.
He's in his crib now, instead of the bassinet, and I've managed to start figuring out the different cries and noises he makes.. so I no longer leap out of bed only to get to the nursery only to find out that he was just talking in his sleep. I'm also learning to let him cry sometimes...his Grandad says that he needs it- to exercise his lungs. sometimes he still gets me...and screams and screams and when I get there he's asleep again..

As for me, I'm stuck in a rut trying to find things to wear.. I have about 2 outfits I alternate... I have never been one to enjoy working out but I know I need to, and I have the motivation now that I need to do it not for me, but for Ben... so hopefully one day sooner than later I can start wearing non-maternity clothes again!

Being a new mom is hard- I feel like some days all I manage to do is feed, change diapers, wash bottles, and do mini-loads of laundry. We have been peed on, pooped on and spewed on.... But I wouldnt trade it for the world. Ben has been such a blessing in our life and I can't hardly remember what it was like BEFORE he was here!

Benjamin Andrew Walz is here!

I've not had a chance to update....mainly because after that last post, baby decided he wanted to come early!

Benjamin Andrew Walz
born July 22, 2009 at 7:22 pm
7lbs 4 oz 20.5 inches long

a quick version of the birth story....
It started on tues when I went to ob triage due to a SEVERE migraine an very high blood pressure. They did some blood work and told me that when the labs came back and my pain level had decreased (they gave me percocet) that we would be going home. they came back a little while later and told me that my labs came back good except for one. They said my platelets were low. Then they went on to explain that the dr decided to go ahead and admit me and inducce me that night, since they weren't sure if my migraine was from the blood pressure, or vice versa. Tim and I were in shock. we werent expecting that! so they admitted me and we started making our calls. after we got to the room they induced me and sometime in the early morning they started pitocen. Sometime in the morning they broke my water. By 230 the pain was at a point where I couldn't take it anymore- Ben was not in a good position... so I decided to get the epidural. it worked nicely at first but wore off before 4 on the right side. (the side where Ben was) so they gave me another dose....and after that NEITHER side was numb. and the contractions were worse... I was dialated to 5 cm for 9 hours and they were planning a csect if I didnt dialate any more before 7:30 pm. by 6 I was willing for the csect because the pain (due to the pitocen) was SO horrible ( I threw up multiple times because of it) and to top it off Benjamin was pushing against my bone on the right side AND was sunny side up. They began setting up the operating room because around 7 I was still at 5 cms. all of a sudden Ben decided he was coming vaginally. and they could hardly get enough help in there they kept telling me not to push and to keep breathing He was SOO ready if I was breathing I HAD to push...and if I DIDNT push I couldnt breathe. SO by the time he came out (6 mins total pushing) the pain was gone and I felt so much better.. the rest of the night and next day I had drs and nurses visiting me because they couldnt believe he wasnt born via c-section .

He had jaundice so we stayed in the hospital a little longer than we would have liked but they let us come home Friday night with a bili blanket to put him on to help with the jaundice. we have been super busy and figuring this whole parentng thing out since so updates will be slim for a while! Ill try and keep updated with pictures and things for everyone to see!

time flies!

Oops! I guess posting got put on the back burner.....SO I figured I would do a quick update while I wait for Tim to get home from an Eric Church concert at the beach......since soon updating will def be the last thing on our minds!

The kitchen has been (is still in the process of) redone since my last post. new counters, new floor and fresh paint! it is almost finished. hopefully by next week. Mom and Dad have been coming up to help get the house ready....now if I could get a maid to show up overnight and get it CLEAN.....hmm. no chance I know... since we are under renovations throughout the house its really messy...but the baby's room is done. so its ready for him and thats the impt thing....
We also sent our "foster puppy" home this week. I miss her because she REALLY was a good dog, and Rascal has been sad since she left.....but it's nice to be able to walk to the back yard and pet my dog without him getting jealous because someone else is standing near me!!

Baby Boy will be here soon! we are excited and nervous all at the same time. We have just about everything we need and it's a good thing since we are down to 2 weeks and 3 days about.. Majority of the family thinks he's coming early...and I know his Uncle Billy wants him to come before he has to go back to Afghanistan.... Everything has been good so far. I'm def swelling alot more and that's getting kinda uncomfortable so hopefully he doesnt decide to hang out for TOO long... The last dr appt went well. I measured 36 weeks, even though I was 37. I was dialated to one cm and baby is head down but not engaged. so we will see what they say at the next appt--if we make it that long!

We spent last week in Denton, and Tim counseled camp..while I visited as much as I could. I HATE when I cant get out there! the camp was smaller which was nice in a way....but at the same time a FEW more kids would have been nice too! Well I guess that is all the updating for now... I need to go work on this house!!